“Aw man! This pie doesn’t taste at all like what grandma use to make! I’m must be a terrible baker:(“
Maybe! Or maybe one of many things might be different from the recipe you’ve been trying to follow
Baking is largely both a science, and bullshit. Anything from the altitude you’re at, or the mosture in the air, or the way you’re measuring ingredients (ie weight vs volume) can effect how your final result of what you’re making will come out. A few examples just in my grandmother’s Apple Pie recipe are
Her recipe calls for Crisco in the crust, but Crisco changed their formula in 2007, effecting the taste and texture of the crusts made, so adjustments have to be made to account for that
The Apple tree in her backyard is gone, and no apples sold commonly in stores are similar to whatever random variety she had, and there are over 7,500 known varieties of apples
Not all flour that you buy from the store is the same, and I’m not just even talking about like. Cake flour vs wheat flour. Even in the US the kind of regular baking flour differs depending on where you live, and where it’s sourced from
So will I ever make that Apple pie I remember fondly from my childhood? Probably not! Just gotta figure out my own thing that works.
I dunno why I made this post at 6am. Just shit to keep in mind next time you’re struggling with an older recipe I guess!
Needed to see this. Thank you :)
I managed to get my grandmothers meatball & gravy recipe (it’s not marinara or bolognase) and I can’t get the exact same ingredients she used. I don’t rely as much on canned tomatoes and I use a different percentage of pork to beef, I bake them first to cook off excess fat and use a different kind of wine and fresh herbs instead of dried. It doesn’t taste exactly the way it did. But it’s also not being served in milwakee in the previous century to a small child at a long table full of loud Italians.
But! I can taste that it’s the same recipe. And I can taste the love my grandparents had for me when they made it, decades after they’re gone. It’ll never be exactly right, but that’s less important to me than being part of that long chain of ancestors who cooked with messy love and fed a lot of people
my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully
okay so
be a goth. conservative christian parents don’t approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can
know more about religion than the parents. they’ll try to introduce you to christianity because you don’t exactly look like a christian but your dad’s an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you’ll correct them on every little mistake they make
call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i’m talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like “my liver” or “my little cabbage” (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won’t know this they’ll just think you’re annoying :3)
to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else
stare at her older brother’s ass for just a little too long
have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle
let them quote bible verses to you. then ask “so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?”. it’s very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it’s even funnier when you’ve just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history
ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn’t make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-
be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it’s just an act)
go and fuck her brother in an alleyway. the parents won’t know about this so it’s an optional step
use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that
just be yourself! that’s enough on its own to make them despise you tbh
yes
i kissed him on the lips infront of his parents and claimed it was the usual greek greeting between men is that enough for you
Are you…. Are you secretly dating her brother OP?
yes
I wonder why
Show up again to admit to dating the brother, but dress like a typical suburbanite and act like you’ve never met the parents before. Absolute power move.
asdgfgsjfh im totally doing this
want an update?
ofc you do
but i’m too tired to write all of what happened down right now so instead try to imagine the most awkward situation you’ve ever been in.
now multiply the awkwardness by 100
first of all i’m just gonna show the difference in what i was wearing
an example of what i would wear as my friend’s fake bf:
and as my boyfriend’s actual bf:
when my bf and i showed up his dad did such a double take
sooo yeah my bf told his parents he’s gay, they looked surprised but told him it was fine… then they shared a look of pure horror (seriously, it was like they had just found out they’re in the matrix) and said
“and uh. why is…he here?”
i went and introduced myself like we had never met before and said i was their son’s boyfriend
:3
i’ve never seen two people look more angry before but they weren’t gonna say anything because they had other family members over
the family members who had never met me before and therefore knew nothing about the fake relationship thing started asking me what faith i am. i said i was raised protestant, though i’m not very religious now, but that’s something i want to change. i had never mentioned anything about being a protestant before and i had said several times that my family was greek orthodox but gaslight gatekeep girlboss
aaaand then the awkwardness began. those were probably the most awkward minutes of my life (we didn’t stay for long because i thought the dad was gonna hit me [he probably was. i saw him clenching his fists several times]) and i don’t think anyone has ever looked at me with such murderous intent as my bf’s parents
update two electric boogaloo ig
i have a girlfriend now🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
Be the fucking chaos you want to see in the world.
Yk what anytime someone asks what I want to be In the future it’s this i wanna be this i wanna be you when i grow up
The problem with Batman in his present incarnation is that we need simultaneously to believe that this is a man who can effortlessly ninja his way through dozens of gun-toting mercenaries, and that this is a man to whom Danny DeVito with an umbrella is a credible threat.
Okay, that was glib – let me expand. I’m fully aware that Batman comics generally don’t have him fighting guys like the Penguin one on one these days. That’s not the problem. The problem is that superhero power creep has rendered Batman functionally immune to hired goons, but owing to his roots as a street-level vigilante, like half of his classic villains are guys whose primary threat vector is the ability to field arbitrary numbers of hired goons. There just aren’t a lot of ways to work around that without either doing violence to the villain’s idiom or making Batman carry the idiot ball – though I’ll grant that some of the attempted workarounds have been very entertaining!
You joke, but that’s literally one of the workarounds I’m referring to. One of the reasons that recent Batman stories keep looping back around to ancient ninja conspiracy stuff is that an answer to “how do we make hired goons a credible threat when Batman is an invincible ninja?” is “the hired goons are also ninjas”.
Imagine turning to crime out of financial desperation and you can’t even land a job as a dumb knuckle cracking brawler anymore without five years of martial arts training, a CDL in evasive getaway driving and a hand written recommendation from an active member of The Court of Owls.
by the way reminder that defenders or stans of ryan haywood are not welcome here.
i just feel like this is important to reiterate because seems like some of you are still hanging around, and you’re super unwelcome and hated and everyone thinks you’re gross and weird! bye!!!!
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